celebration or deflamation?

celebration of friends are later.
but somehow, i just don't feel like going. i'm sorry.
someone so happened to spoil my enthusiasm in going for the celebration. what is it that you want from me exactly?
you said that you want me to be happy.
but are you helping?
you always seem to be able to bring me down after making me happy.
i was right wasn't i?
every single time i said that i had a price to pay every single time i'm happy.
i'm still paying the price.

what is it that you want from me exactly?
you want all of me to be all for you?
all the time?
you want to be selfish and not share me at all?
then let me tell you one thing.
don't take me for granted.
we both know what i'm willing to do for you.
so don't take it too far.
cause there is so much i can take.
you don't want me to push you again right?

i'll wait until you make up your mind.
to decide to tell me what you want from me exactly.
and i don't want you to tell me over the phone.
anyway over the phone.
i don't want you to call me and tell me.
or message me to tell me.
i want you to tell me face to face.
what is it that you want from me.
what is is that you want out of me.
you know where i'll be waiting.
we both know you're not stupid.

a place where it makes me happy.

so why won't you came and be a part of my world. and i can show you what i am about. i'll tear all my walls down. so that you can see me for who i am. i'll strip myself down to my core so that i will hide nothing from you. and when you have accepted me for who i am. and have not thrown me aside. then we can create our own fantasies. and leave no room for mistakes.
and we can live happily ever after.



you haven't seen me at my worst.
so don't test me.